by the park
Wednesday, January 19, 2011 @ 10:48 PM
the sun will shine, just for youwent for a round of jogging just now(one of a goals this year :D)
running frees up and mind, thats why i love it. though it is tiring and difficult for me to even psycho myself to change my outfit and get to the park, i still love it. its a love hate relationship ah.
ytd night i thought about alot of things, about myself and how shld i even move on with my life. 2010 has been quite a bad year and i swear to myself i wanna make 2011 a real good one. but something within me is afraid. what if i fail again this year?
i guess thats one of the issues with grown ups (i know i am not exactly old OLD. but 20 is quite reasonable luh), we are too afraid to fall, thus, give up trying all together.
i saw a girl that looks like 16 -17 years old, learning how to cycle at the park (her boyfee is teaching her) when i saw it, i can clearly rmb the day i learnt how to cycle cos its at that same park where my brother taught me. I could tell she was really scared. she steers the handle too much and couldnt really get the balance of cycling in order to not fall (after jogging for 6 rounds, she still couldnt really cycle). i cant help but to think back, was i like this before too? let me be proud for once, i think i learnt how to cycle quite quickly. my bro aint the most patient guy ard, so i am quite sure i didnt take a LONG time. i can even rmb my bro telling me, "just cycle, once you fall/crash, you will know how to cycle after that" (what kind of rubbish is that! hahas) i rmb, off i went and somehow, i manage to balance but after 1 minute, i crashed into a guy and apologized like mad. hahahas somehow, when i went off, balancing and manage to cycle, i wasnt even afraid. to me, i trusted my bro. i am not even afraid of crashing into the tree.
i think thats what they say, "child's innocence" thats why u shld learn how to cycle and rollar blade when you are young cos you have no concept of pain. Thus, you wont even be afraid of it. you simply went ahead and try all the nonsense that looks fun like flipping down from a monkey bar.
if you ask me to do all that nonsense i did before now, i will tell you, NO WAY.
as grown ups, i guess we all have lost that element of boldness. through all the different ups and downs you go through in life, you became afraid to try. you rather play safe and not get hurt, then to put that foot out there and gain scars that speaks of experiences. i used the word "gain" scars cos, every scar have a story to tell and it is through those stories, we became stronger and better in some aspect.
but this element of boldness is essential for all growth in life. the moment you stop trying new things, thats the moment you stop living life as well.
one lesson which i walk away with before i left the park:
i wanna be a girl that will never be afraid of failing/falling
if theres one day, where there will be ZERO fear in your life (you will no longer be afraid of sharks, blood, roaches and etc), what will you do?
thats right, thats the thing you shld start doing it one second after you finish reading this.
good night lovelies.
<3